POST PURGATORY MISSING SCENES
by Patcat
Summary: Some speculation
1. Chapter 1

POST PURGATORY MISSING SCENES

Chapter One

"No!" she screamed. She jerked up in bed and felt terribly sick for a moment. She held her head in her hands and waited for the nausea to pass. "Damn!" Alex Eames thought. "I finally stop having one nightmare, and another set starts tormenting me." She shivered as the cool air from her open window hit her sweat soaked T-shirt. She checked her clock and discovered she'd been asleep for three hours. Her body felt as if she'd just a run a marathon, a sensation she was familiar with from the time she'd beaten her late husband to a finish line. "Damn," she thought again, and reluctantly left her bed and lurched into the bathroom. She hung her damp T-shirt on the back of the door and stepped into the shower. "Damnit, Bobby," she thought as the cool water poured over her. "Damnit, Ross," she thought as turned off the water and stepped from the tub. "Damn the NYPD," she thought as she dried her body and pulled a clean T-shirt over her head. She fell back on her bed and stared at her cell phone on the bedside table. Part of her desperately wanted to call Bobby and to hear his soft, deep, gentle voice.

"But," Alex thought. "How can I tell him about my nightmare when he caused it?"

She sighed, turned off the light, and fell back on her pillows. Since his return from suspension, Bobby had been heartbreakingly kind to her, bringing her coffee and some treat every morning, buying her lunch at every opportunity (luxuries she was sure he couldn't afford after being without regular paychecks for so long), and, most importantly for her, listening to her and giving her credit for everything she did, and sometimes, to her annoyance, for things she didn't do. He let her take the lead in many of their investigations—something she realized he'd always done to some extent—and tried to defer to her. And Bobby tried so hard to work well with Ross that Alex frequently fought against smiling as her partner twisted in physical and mental knots. She lay on her back and watched as the light slowly grew in her bedroom. At the start of their first case since his return, Alex felt as angry and awkward as she had in the first days of her partnership with Bobby, and the case's high profile and Ross' history with their prime suspect didn't help the atmosphere. But Bobby worked so hard, and he was so careful in his dealings with Ross and her, that she gradually warmed to him. "He's back," Alex thought as she watched Bobby bore in on the suspect. "He's back."

Bobby took little pleasure in their successful resolution of the case. As they went through Kathy's booking, he was efficient and quiet. They finished the process and were signing the last forms when Bobby looked towards Ross' office. "He must feel awful," Bobby muttered.

"Yea," Alex said. "He's human, after all." She placed a form on her finished pile. "But you recognized that."

Bobby bent his head over his desk. "I…I tried to." He watched as she gathered her things. "Is…Is there anything I can do for you, Eames?"

"Just finish up the paperwork," she answered cheerfully. For a moment she considered asking him to buy her a drink, but she wasn't quite ready to be that forgiving. She was also very tired, and he was, in many ways, responsible for her lack of sleep. "But you can get me an extra shot of espresso in my mocha tomorrow." She hoped he might respond with a snort and a comment that she was lucky he brought her any coffee at all, let alone some complicated concoction.

But he only gave her a sad smile and said, "You got it."

Alex was at the elevators when she saw Megan Wheeler. "Megan…any signs of infestation?"

Megan shook her head. "Nope…Nothing…Logan hasn't seen anything either…And no one else on the patrol reports anything."

Alex looked back at Bobby, who was deeply involved in the paperwork. "He could be hiding…"

"I don't think so," Megan said. "The people you've got on patrol come and go at different times…Some are here when he comes in, some when he goes. I don't think anyone comes in as early or stays as late as he does…And we've gotten no reports of anything from the janitorial staff…All of whom love him because he treats them well." Megan smiled. "Maybe Logan's right…That thing was put in his desk by some coward that hasn't and won't be back."

Alex sighed. "I hope Logan's right. But cops with a bad idea can hang on to it for a very long time."

"There's a lot of people keeping an eye out for him," Megan assured her.

"She's still such a kid," Alex thought as she watched the younger detective return to the squad room. "She still thinks things work out for the best."

As she picked at her dinner later, Alex's cell rang.

"Hey, Eames," Mike Logan greeted her. "Rat Patrol reporting."

Alex smiled sadly. "And…"

"Goren's still here, and I'm passing off my duties to Reynolds and Menendez. No vermin sighted during my tour. Or at least no vermin of the rodent variety."

"Thanks, Logan…Thanks for the help…Let the other guys know that too."

She got to bed early that night and had hopes of a good night's sleep, but the nightmare woke her. It was the same one that plagued her since the night she stared down the barrel of Bobby's gun and pointed her own at him. The dream had several variations. In one—the lesser evil of the three—Bobby pulled his trigger, and Alex, scarlet ribbons spreading over her body, slowly fell to the ground. In the second, Alex watched in horror as Bobby jerked like a demented puppet as the bullets from other cops' guns struck him. In the last and worst dream, Alex fired her gun, and Bobby slumped to the floor, and she watched as his eyes first filled with pain and then the life drained from them.

It was the last dream that woke her. "Oh, God, Bobby," she thought. "Do you have any idea of what you've done to me?"

She managed to get back to sleep, and arrived at Major Case that morning in a mood more sympathetic to Bobby. The fact that a large mocha with an extra shot and a gooey cinnamon roll waited on her desk contributed greatly to her better mood. The day was one of those boring ones Alex was increasingly more appreciative of as she grew older. She and Bobby moved steadily through paperwork and case reviews. Bobby worked diligently with none of the complaints that frequently marked his dealings with such things. When she returned from lunch, she studied her partner. His hair was cut and neatly combed, his beard shaved, and his suit neatly pressed, but there were dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey," she said.

Bobby looked up with alarm.

"You eat any lunch?"

"I…I'm ok," he answered.

"That's not what I asked," Alex said patiently. "Did you have lunch?"

"I…I'm not hungry."

"Have a big breakfast?"

"Uh…something like that…" He focused on the report on his desk.

His reply was scarcely satisfying, but Alex decided not to press the issue. The piles of work declined steadily, and by a little before five they were nearly finished.

"Thank you," Bobby said as she handed a form to him, and he looked at her long enough to let her know he really meant the words.

"You're welcome," Alex replied, and she looked at him long enough to let him know that she recognized and appreciated his gratitude. She gathered the completed forms and stood.

"I'm taking these to the Captain," she said. "You sign all of them?"

"Yes," Bobby answered. "Crossed all the Ts and dotted all the Is. I swear."

It disturbed Alex that Bobby was only half joking.

Ross saw her coming and opened his office door for her. She deposited the reports on his desk. "There you are, Captain…All finished."

"Thank you, Eames," Ross said, impressed with the size of the pile. "And thank your partner…Both of you have been working very well. And your partner has been…very…"

"Careful?" Alex said.

"That's a good way of putting it," Ross said. "And I appreciate it…I appreciate what both of you are doing. Are things good between the two of you?"

"Getting better," Alex answered. "We've talked. We know what we need to do. And Bobby is trying. As much as he's trying to work with you, he's trying even harder with me."

Ross looked out the office window at Bobby. "He hasn't gotten any more "gifts", has he?"

"No…Thank God," Alex said. "He's under orders to tell me if he does or gets any kind of threat. And he'll tell me, not only because he's afraid of what will happen if he doesn't and I find out, but because it could hurt me."

"I don't like it," Ross said grimly. "I don't like bad cops, particularly bad cops who threaten good cops. Is he worried?"

"Only as much as it bothers me," Ales said. She stood next to Ross and joined the Captain in his study of Bobby. "I'm trying to keep an eye on him. And I've got some help. Bobby has friends and supporters in the squad and in the department. And so do I."

Ross half-smiled. "Just watch your backs. It's good to have you both back."

As Alex spoke to Ross, Bobby desperately tried to keep his attention focused on the reports in front of him. "It's nothing…They're just talking…" He shook his pen to try to release some of his energy. "Calm down, Goren…She's not going to leave…She's told you that…You know you can trust her…Focus…Pay attention…"

"Hey." Alex loomed over him. "It's quitting time. Want to buy me a drink?"

Bobby nearly bolted from his chair. "Of course…"

"Bobby," Alex said patiently. "It's ok. You don't have to do everything I ask. And you certainly don't have to do it immediately."

He calmed. "I'd…I'd like to buy you a drink…But not anywhere too close…"

"I'm with you on that." Alex shouldered her purse. "Wasn't there a place you liked within a walking distance that hadn't been invaded by cops?"

As they walked together to the bar, Bobby, with a catch in his throat, realized that Alex and he were out of step. He made frequent adjustments to his walk to accommodate her shorter legs. A year ago, he wouldn't have had to think about the changes.

Alex cast a quick eye at her partner. "Good Lord," she thought as she watched him stumble as he tried to adjust his stride to hers. "It's worse than our first day together."

They reached the bar and found an empty booth in the back. Bobby scuttled to its darkest corner, and Alex was sure he couldn't see the waitress' light attempt to flirt with him. After they gave their orders, Bobby leaned out of the shadows and rubbed his eyes.

"Tired?" she asked.

"Uh…a little…just getting back in the swing of things." He wasn't going to tell her that his dreams since his suspension had kept him from getting a full night of sleep. A new set—dreams where she shot him, or he shot her, or someone shot them both—had replaced the flickering nightmares of his time at Tate.

"Yea, hard to get back in step," she said.

"And I…I…" he said hesitantly. "Was always pretty offbeat anyway."

"I don't know about offbeat," Alex said and smiled. "But you've always marched to your own drummer."

By the time the waitress returned with their drinks, Bobby felt good enough to shyly return the young woman's smile. For the rest of the evening they refused to acknowledge the elephant sitting in the booth with them. They didn't talk about his suspension or his undercover work or her anger about both. They talked about her family—about how well her mother was doing, about her older brother's new and determined sobriety, and especially about her nephew. He said less, but he always spoke less during conversations about their lives outside of work, probably, Alex reasoned, because he had less of a life outside work, and it wasn't a happy one. He talked about several cars he'd helped his friend Lewis with, and mentioned in passing that he'd have to leave work early the next day to make a session.

"You're still going to those?" Alex asked.

"Uh…yea…" His answer wasn't hostile, but he shifted uncomfortably in the booth.

"Was that…" Alex treaded carefully. "Was that a condition of getting your badge back?"

"No…" He answered with equal caution. "I…I wanted to keep going…They…I…I think…It's helping…" He tilted his head. "It bothers you…"

"That you can talk to a stranger and not me? Yea…It bothers me…"

Her voice wasn't as biting as her words, but Bobby winced.

"Eames…Please…There's so much…stuff…I have to work through." He spoke slowly and carefully, as if he wanted to be sure of his words as much for himself as for her. "And…and you have nothing to do with it…You…You were right…I inflict some of it on myself…But…It hurts you…It has to do with you…I'm trying to figure it out…To stop doing the things that hurt me…To control what I can…It's not because I don't trust you…God…Eames…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Right now…You're the only one I do trust…But…Talking to someone who's outside…Who…Who I can't hurt…Who can help me get out of my head…"He leaned forward so he was completely out of the shadows, and Alex struggled to hold his gaze. "She's the one who helped me see…that by pushing you away…I'm not protecting you…I'm hurting you…I understand that now…And I…I'm trying…Please…Please…"

She didn't immediately respond, and he slumped back in the booth.

"Bobby." Alex was proud that she could say his name clearly. "I…I think I understand…" She reached across the table to touch his hand. "I…I…when…when I was…When Jo Gage…There were things I could talk about with my counselor that I couldn't with you…You didn't push…I guess I can do the same."

Bobby sat up and leaned forward. "I…I didn't have the right to push…I mean…" He waved his free hand. "It's your right…"

A terrible thought swept through Alex's mind. "Bobby…Have I…Have I been pushing you too hard? Have I been in your head too much?"

"Eames," Bobby said after a moment. "My head is a scary and terrible place." He smiled sadly. "I think you'd know if you got in there. Don't worry. It's good that you push. You…You're good for me…I…I just…I'm not sure I'm good for you."

Her grip on his hand tightened. "I think you are…and that you have to trust me on that."

He stared at their hands. "OK."

They felt strangely exhausted, as if they had just come through some tremendous battle, and they sat in silence for several moments.

"I could use another drink," Alex finally said. "Where's our waitress?"

Bobby stared around him as if he'd just emerged from a deep sleep. The bar was much busier than when they arrived. "She must be dealing with the crowd. I'll go up to the bar."

Out of habit, he picked up his binder as he stood, and Alex smiled at the familiar view of Bobby using it as a shield to help part the crowd. She watched until he reached the bar, and turned away to examine the crowd. She wished she could shut off the cop side of her brain as she scanned the faces.

"C'mon, Bobby," she thought with a smile. "Get back here so I can diss these people with you."

She looked back at the bar, but didn't see Bobby. She stood, and couldn't find him anywhere in the bar. A small bit of fear appeared in her as she pushed through to the bar. Their now harried waitress, waiting for the bartender, was there.

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "The man I'm with…He was up here…"

"Oh, yea," the waitress said. "There were three or four guys who seemed to know him. I think they went out the side door."

The fear grew in Alex as she pushed again through the crowd. Before she opened the door, she pulled out her cell phone and placed her other hand on her gun. Her heart pounding, she pushed the door, and it creaked open to reveal an empty alley. Her heart ceased pounding when she saw Bobby's binder, splayed open and the wind ruffling its paper, lying on the ground.

END CHAPTER ONE

I'm really lousy at titles.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

While one part of Alex's mind screamed in panic, another—the one remembering its NYPD training, experienced in police work, and exposed to Bobby Goren—was in full operation and dominant. She called dispatch and let the operator know an office was missing and likely in trouble. She followed that call with one to Mike Logan, and knew that Bobby's protection detail would soon arrive, perhaps before any other cops. As she made the calls, Alex scanned the alley for clues.

"There's a chance…a chance…he's all right," she thought as she stared at his binder. She crouched to examine the ground. Even in the trash strewn alley, she saw the signs of a struggle. There were several crimson drops on the binder, and it took all of Alex's will not to seize and clutch it to her chest. She stood and surveyed the area. Several boxes and bags were scattered around the wall directly across from her. She stepped cautiously toward the brick wall, trying not to disrupt the scene. Her heart fell when she saw a smeared red blot on the wall. Trying not to think too much of Bobby, she sniffed the spot. "Blood," she thought. "Recent…" Shaking, she looked around the alley again. At the far end she saw a figure emerge from a doorway and lean casually—a little too casually—against a wall and light a cigarette. One hand on her gun, Alex strode down the alley. She dimly recognized the figure as a cop she had seen at Kevin's funeral. The logical part of her mind told her to wait for backup, but the other, filled with what could be happening to Bobby, took over and propelled her forward.

The man saw her and tossed away his cigarette. "Hey, sister, watcha doing…"

Red filled Alex's mind, and she rushed forward. She jammed her gun against the man's throat and her knee into his groin. He gasped in pain and shock.

"Where are they?" she asked coldly.

"I…I…What…"

Sirens sounded in the distance.

She jammed the gun harder into his throat. "My partner…Detective Robert Goren…Big guy…Good cop…Good guy…Your buddy…Patrick Copa…Ex-cop…Lousy cop…Lousy human being…"

"I…I don't know…"

"Shut up…I'm a detective first grade…I've seen you…I know you…." She was bluffing, but her anger made her very convincing.

"Cope…Cope just wanted to talk to the guy…He…He didn't want to be interrupted…"

"I bet he didn't," Alex said. "Where are they?"

"Listen, sister…"

"I'm not the sister of any scum like you." Alex shoved the gun harder against his throat.

The sirens stopped, and cops flooded the alley.

"Eames." Mike Logan emerged from the blue flock. "Don't do…"

Alex ignored the new arrivals. "Where are they?"

"Cope said the guy got him fired…"

"Is that the story he gave you? The story he's told everyone?" Alex said coldly.

The guy blinked.

"Eames." Ross joined Logan at the front of the cops.

"I'm tired," Alex said. "Tired of Copa…that lousy cop…whining about being the victim here…" She shot a look at Ross. "Why doesn't anyone tell the truth?"

Ross couldn't meet her eyes. "There was an agreement with Copa…"

"I didn't agree," Alex said. "The blue wall…the buddy boy system…It'll protect a cop like Copa who abandoned his partner on a dangerous stakeout so he could have a quickee with his girlfriend…"

The eyes of several of the cops and the man Alex held her gun on widened.

"A cop who lied about what he saw…"

"Cope…Cope said…" the increasingly confused and frightened man said.

"He wouldn't, would he? No more than he'd tell you he was so blind that he was a danger to other cops." Alex slowly lowered her gun. "The system will protect him. But Bobby Goren…a cop who's brought more credit to the department…Who's saved more cops…Done more for more cops…Who found the killer of those detectives three years ago…Who came back from bereavement leave to look for Kevin's killer…Who has a Medal of Honor…"

There were soft gasps from some of the cops. The main target of Alex's wrath stared at Ross.

"It's all true," the Captain said. "It was kept quiet out of respect for Copa's family and as part of the agreement for his resignation. Goren agreed with it. But the truth is Copa isn't good enough to lick the bottom of Goren's shoes." He stared at the man. "Now, where are they?"

"Through there…Down the stairs…" The stunned man pointed to a door. "In the cellar…"

Alex was at the door before he finished speaking. She heard Ross calling after her and Logan close behind her, but she was down the steps well ahead of them. She thought clearly enough to hesitate in front of the cellar door. From behind the door, she heard several sickening thuds she recognized as blows against a body and several voices.

"Cope…Cope…C'mon…He's had more than enough…He looks really bad…"

Rage and fear again blinded Alex. She was dimly aware that Ross and Logan were scrambling down the steps and shouting warnings to her. She raised her gun, slammed the door open, and rushed into the dark, damp room. She jerked to a stop and pointed her gun at three shocked men.

"Freeze!" she screamed. "Police!"

She didn't recognize two of the men, but Patrick Copa was directly in front of her. Bobby Goren, his handcuffed wrists looped over a hook in the ceiling, hung in front of the ex-cop. Copa raised a billy club for another blow on Bobby's battered body. Blood ran down his arms from the cuts on his wrists and down his face.

"Get away from him!" Alex screamed. "Drop the weapon!"

The club tumbled across the floor after Copa dropped it. As Alex swept on him, she scooped up the baton, and Copa's eyes widened in terror. Alex raised the heavy stick, and Copa stumbled into a wall and cowered.

"Eames," Bobby whispered painfully and hoarsely. "Don't…It's not worth it..."

The club hovered in the air.

"Please…Eames…I need…" Bobby gasped.

Logan and Ross swept into the room, and Logan and one of Copa's stunned associates unlocked the cuffs and eased Bobby to the ground.

"Detective Eames," Ross said in a tight voice. "I'd like nothing more right now that to see you give this rat bastard what he deserves. But your partner needs you."

Copa looked up in shock at Ross. Alex, the baton still held over her head, stepped towards him, and Copa shrunk before her. Bobby moaned softly as Logan moved to lean him against the wall.

"Eames…C'mon," Logan said, his voice betraying some of the rage and revulsion he felt. "Copa will be in enough trouble when it gets around what he really did. That's right, scum," Logan said in response to Copa's stunned face. "She told the guy on lookout duty…and all the cops out there…how you left your partner for a quick roll in the hay with your girlfriend…How you're nearly blind and unfit for duty…How you lied about that ID…"

His associates stared at Copa. "Cope…" one said. "You left Kev…You left him alone for a hookup?"

"The department tried to keep it quiet for his family's sake," Ross said. "Eames…Alex…"

Slumped on the dirty floor, Copa desperately looked around the room.

"Who's the rat?" Alex asked softly. "Who's the rat now?"

"Alex…Please…" Bobby moaned.

"Give me that stick," one of Copa's associates—now clearly an ex-associate—said. "I'll take care of him."

Alex lowered her arm and let the club fall. It clattered on the floor. She turned and walked to Bobby and dropped to her knees by him. Cops descended on Copa and his former friends, and Ross took a great deal of pleasure in reciting, "Patrick Copa, you're under arrest…"

Alex didn't hear Ross. All of her attention focused on Bobby.

"There's a bus coming," Logan said.

"I…It's not that bad," Bobby mumbled. A split lip and the deepening bruises on his face garbled his speech. There was another growing bruise on his left jaw, and a deep gash over his right eye dripped blood down his face. The tissue around his right eye was swelling as well, and the cuts left by the cuffs were bleeding. Alex reached to unbutton his shirt. "No…don't…" he weakly protested, but she opened it to reveal a horrible blanket of purple, grey, and green bruises on his chest.

"Damn," Logan whispered. He glared murderously at Copa, and started to stand. Alex touched him on the arm.

"Don't, Logan," she said. "I need you to help me get this stubborn guy to the hospital."

Logan shook with the effort of controlling his anger. "All right," he said after several moments. "All right."

Bobby leaned against the cellar wall. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Bobby." Alex had gotten a handkerchief from somewhere or someone and gently used it to wipe the blood and sweat from his face. "What are you sorry for?" She glared back at Copa, who was sprawled on the filthy floor. "You're not the rat who did this."

He looked at her with dark eyes full of pain. "I…I…" He swallowed and coughed, and blood trickled out of his nose and mouth. His eyelids fluttered.

"Bobby." Alex clutched his relatively uninjured left hand. "Hang on…Please hang on…"

He blinked. "I…I'm sorry…One of them…I know him from Narcotics…I worked with him…He…He told me he knew something about Donnie…And…And…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…I thought I could…Trust him…I shoulda known…Can't trust…" He swallowed again. "By…by the time I knew what was going on…They threatened…Said they'd hurt you…" He looked guiltily at Alex. "I couldn't…let them…I…I thought I could handle it…" He stared at his battered right hand. "I shoulda known…I can't…can't do anything right…"

"Bobby," Alex said, as afraid for his mental as for his physical state. "It's not your fault."

"I…I'm sorry…I…I think I can get up…"

"Bobby," Alex said firmly. Her hand hovered over his shoulder.

"Don't, Goren," Logan said "The bus is almost here."

"I…I don't need…" He struggled to get to his feet.

"Goren." Ross loomed over the trio. "This is an order. Stay there…You'll only hurt yourself worse. Wait for the ambulance."

Alex thought she heard the same mix of admiration, affection and annoyance that often marked Jimmy Deakins' conversations with Bobby in Ross' voice. "Bobby," she said patiently. "Listen to us. You're hurt. At the very least, you're gonna need stitches. You may have broken ribs…You need to go to the hospital…I'll ride with you."

Bobby surrendered and leaned back against the wall. He said nothing as the EMTS bundled him up and carried him up the stairs, no easy task considering Bobby's size and condition and the stairs' state. As Alex followed the stretcher, a uniform approached her.

"Here," the young woman said. "I think this is Detective Goren's." She handed Bobby's binder to Alex.

Alex took it and stared at the red blots on it. "Thank you."

"Don't worry, Eames," another uniform said. "We'll get a watch organized and some blood donors…"

She nodded numbly as she stepped into the ambulance. Bobby was terribly quiet and still on the drive to the hospital. Alex sat by his side and tried to stay out of the way of the EMTs. Bobby didn't look at her, and he mumbled short answers to questions. His eyes shimmered with pain, and, although sweat covered his face, he shivered. When they arrived at the hospital a swarm of doctors and nurses joined the EMTs in sweeping Bobby away. Alex hugged his binder to her chest as she stood in the hall.

END CHAPTER TWO


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Alex wasn't sure how long she stood mutely in the hall. She started when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder.

"Eames."

She turned to find Mike Logan standing behind her. Just behind him, almost as if he used the bigger man as a shield, was Captain Danny Ross. Both men waited for Alex to explode, but at that moment she was too exhausted and confused to strike out.

"How is he?" Logan asked in as gentle a voice as Alex could ever remember him using.

"I don't know," Alex answered. "They took him in there. He…He didn't say anything all the way in…He…He looked so hurt…"

Logan and Ross gently guided her to the waiting area. Still hugging Bobby's binder, Alex sat heavily on a worn chair. Logan and Ross sat on equally worn chairs on either side of her.

"Look," Logan said. "He's a big, strong guy. He'll be ok." He sounded as if he were trying to convince himself as much as Alex.

"He'll be ok, Eames," Ross said. "If only so he can keep annoying me."

"I…I'm sorry, Captain…If what I did got you in trouble…but…I had to find him," Alex said, although her tone was far from apologetic. "And I can't stand it any more…That cops think Copa was the victim…Even though Bobby agreed to staying quiet…I couldn't…"

"It's all right, Eames," Ross said. "We should've told the truth from the beginning. All that we did to protect Copa's family…He certainly didn't care about them, in spite of everything he said."

A young nurse emerged from the ER and approached them. The three cops tried to ignore the blood stains on her scrubs. "Are you here for Officer Goren?"

"Yes," Alex said.

The nurse sat across from the trio. "He's going to be ok…He took a bad beating, but nothing was broken. He has some deep tissue bruising, and we want to keep him at least overnight to make sure we didn't miss anything. He's going to be in some pain for a few days, and he'll look terrible in the morning when all the bruising comes up on his face. Quite honestly, he doesn't look that good right now, but he should be all right. We're just about to move him to a room. If all goes well, he should be discharged late tomorrow or early the next day." She stood. "We are worried about his emotional state. He's said very little…almost nothing…"

"Can I see him?" Alex asked anxiously as she stood.

"You can come with us while we move him and then stay in his room," the nurse replied. "It'll be good for him to have someone he knows with him."

Alex started after the nurse. There was a sudden rush of activity at the ER entrance.

"My God," Logan said with a mixture of anger and shock. "What's he doing here?"

Ross stared as the Chief of Detectives barreled past the information desk. "Logan…Don't let Eames near him…"

For several moments, Logan's jaw worked as he stacked the loss of his pension and/or exile back to Staten Island against telling the Chief what he thought of him. "All right, Captain," he growled. "But only because I like and owe you and Goren and Eames."

Ross planted himself directly in the Chief's path.

"Ross!" the Chief bellowed. "What the hell happened? I got a call that four of my detectives were arrested for attacking another…"

"Three," Ross said coldly. "Three detectives…and one ex-detective…"

Ross' words and attitude slowed the Chief. "Yes…Copa…Word of his…"

"Crime," Ross said, anger slipping into his voice. "Copa was the ringleader of an attack on Detective First Class Robert Goren…Copa isn't worthy of licking Goren's boots."

"Goren…" The Chief stared at Ross.

"Yes…Robert Goren…The detective you've had a vendetta against since he showed Copa to be the lousy cop and man he is."

"Danny," the Chief spluttered. "Don't presume…"

"I don't presume anything," Ross said. His long suppressed anger and the sight of what Copa had done to Goren fueled his words. "I don't know how you can support a rat like Copa and not give a break to Goren."

"Goren…" The Chief recovered. "Has showed more of the Department's dirty laundry…"

"And made it look better than many detectives." Ross wasn't about to back down. "Goren is the victim here, Chief…Copa did this to him…"

"One of the agreements the Department made with Copa…to get his resignation…was that the details of…of…"

"His failures as a cop?" Ross asked.

"That's more consideration than this Department has ever given my partner." Ross and the Chief turned to see Alex standing in front of Logan. "Look, Chief…Look right there…" She pointed to a battered and bruised Bobby Goren, who was being wheeled out of the ER. "Look at him, Chief…" Her voice was soft and tight. "That's what Copa…the man you're so worried about…did."

The Chief, Ross, and Logan stared at Bobby, who lay mutely on the hospital bed. His right hand was enveloped in a white bandage. Darkening bruises covered his bare shoulders and arms. Another white bandage covered his forehead. The right side of his face was one frightening bruise, and his right eye was swollen shut. Several stitches closed the cuts on his lip. Bobby's head was turned away from the three men, who all felt grateful that they couldn't see his eyes.

Alex started to follow Bobby, but she hesitated and turned back to face the Chief. "Are you sorry?" she asked. "Sorry that Copa embarrassed you? Or sorry that he didn't finish the job?"

Before the Chief could respond, she was in the elevator with Bobby.

END CHAPTER THREE

You've probably guessed that I'm using this fic to get characters to say and do things I wished they do on the show.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Alex maintained a vigil by Bobby's bedside all night. The nurses, Logan and Ross attempted to get her to take a break, to go to the waiting room, to get a cup of coffee, but she stubbornly remained at her post. "I don't want him to wake up and think he's alone," she said. Ross had to leave and departed with words of regret and a promise to return in the morning. Logan moved in and out of Bobby's room and acted as Alex's contact with the outside world. He brought her coffee when she refused to leave the room and tempted her with Skittles.

"Eames," Logan said after one of his caffeine runs. "You need to see something…It's not a trick to get you away…I swear…C'mon…Goren is on some heavy painkillers and he's not going to wake up soon. Just for a moment."

She studied Bobby. He was appallingly quiet and had been since he'd been rolled into the room. "Ok," she said. "But only for a few minutes."

Logan led her to the waiting room at the end of the hall. Alex's heart jumped into her throat when she reached it. The room was full of cops, many in uniform, many from Major Case. When they saw Alex, those sitting stood, and all of them looked at her with worry and concern.

"How's the big guy, Eames?" one of the older Major Case detectives asked.

Alex's heart slowly settled back into her chest. "He…He looks awful," she said. "But the doctors say he'll be ok. He…he's resting…He's on some pretty powerful drugs…"

Relief swept over the faces in the room.

"Goren is quiet, uh?" one cop said. "I'd pay to see that…"

"Told you he was too tough to be down long," another added.

"Let him know we're here for him…And if you need anything, let us know," a cop Alex didn't know said.

Her threatened to jump into her throat again. "Thank you," Alex said softly. "Thank you…I'll let you know if there's anything you can do…And I'll send Logan back with regular reports…"

She turned as Alex left the room, she heard one cop say, "If I ever get my hands on the guys who did this to him…"

Alex spun. "No," she said firmly. "That's the last thing Bobby would want. Not even to a rat like Copa. As much as I'd like to do what you're thinking, Bobby wouldn't want that…"

"You're right, Eames," the older Major Case detective said. "Goren would be the last guy looking for revenge."

Alex, pushed by the fear Bobby might be awake, rushed back to his room. He was in the same drug induced sleep, and remained in that state for the rest of the night. In spite of her best efforts and massive infusions of caffeine, Alex nodded off in an exhausted, light sleep just before dawn. She woke with a start to find sunlight streaming through the window. Her head rested on her folded arms, which in turn rested on Bobby's bed. As sleep left her foggy mind, she was dimly aware of a light touch on her head. She turned her head, and the touch left. She sat up, yawned, and stretched. She examined Bobby, who sat staring out the window.

"How you feeling?" she asked gently. "Need some water?"

"Uh…I'm fine…" She could barely hear his voice.

She poured water from the pitcher on the table next to his bed into a cup. Without looking at her, Bobby took it with his relatively unscathed left hand.

"Thank you," he said softly.

He looked terrible. His right eye was swollen shut, and the right side of his face was a bruise. Stitches crossed in angry tracks across his lips.

"Are you ok? In much pain? Should I call a nurse?"

"I…I'm fine." He handed her the cup and turned away from her. "You…you should get some rest, Eames."

Hurt and puzzled, Alex studied him. "I…I'm fine, Bobby. You're the one who's hurt…"

He shifted on the bed and couldn't quite hide the resulting pain.

"Take it easy," Alex said.

"It's…it's all right," he said flatly.

"Bobby…"

There was a knock at the door, and a cheerful nurse entered. "Mr. Goren," she said happily, and Alex found herself hating the woman. "How are you this morning?"

"Fine…"

"He's not fine," Alex said. "He's in a lot of pain and he doesn't want to show it." She hoped her comment might get at least a glare from Bobby, but he stared impassively out the window.

"One of the big, silent types, uh?" the nurse said. "Well, let's see how you're doing…"

"I'll get some coffee," Alex said. She thought a few minutes away from each other might do both her and Bobby some good.

The nurse nodded. "I'll check his vitals and get him some breakfast. If all goes well, he should be out of here today."

Alex hoped this comment might get some response from Bobby, but he only nodded. "I'll be back, Bobby," she said, and briefly waited for an answer that didn't come.

Alex walked slowly down the hospital hallway. As she neared the lounge she heard a faint rumbling. As she entered the lounge she discovered the source of that rumbling. A sleeping Mike Logan, his mouth open, was sprawled across one of the couches. In spite of her worries about Bobby, a smiled crossed Alex's face. She crossed the room to the coffeepot the hospital provided and poured a cup. She couldn't find any sugar, and Alex made a face as she drank the bitter liquid.

"Hey, Eames…You want a decent cup? That stuff'll kill you."

Alex turned to Logan. He yawned and stretched.

"I could use it," she admitted. "Sorry I woke you."

"Not a problem…Goren awake?"

"Yea…but…he's in a lot of pain…And he's trying not to show it." Alex stared at the cup in her hand. "And he's so quiet…"

"Look." Logan stood. "I'm no psychologist…and I can't get into people's heads the way Goren can…But it seems to me the big guy's dealing with an awful lot right now…To have cops…even bad cops…treat him like that…"

"Yea…And the fact his partner didn't help him…"

"Don't beat yourself up, Eames," Logan said. "A lot of people were trying to protect him. Copa's been trying to get at him for a long time. If they'd gotten to him some other time…" He stopped. Neither Logan nor Alex wanted to consider what might have happened if they hadn't reached Bobby. "C'mon…let me buy you a decent cup of coffee…"

They rode the elevator in a comfortable silence. In the cafeteria Alex drank the coffee and stared in the depths of the cup.

"Well, it's fresh and you've got sugar," Logan said.

"Oh, Logan," Alex sighed. "I don't know if I can help him…He's got all his walls up…And I can't get past the thought I helped do this to him."

"Look," Logan said. "I don't know if I can help you here…I'm not exactly Mr. Sensitivety…I'm not like Goren…"

"You're better at reading people than you think," Alex said softly. "And even Bobby isn't very good at figuring out Bobby." She finished her coffee. "I should get back…Bobby might feel abandoned."

As they neared the elevator, Logan and Alex saw their Captain, looking drawn and weary, headed towards the same destination.

"Is Goren awake?" Ross asked. "How is he?"

"He's awake…In some pain, but not trying to show it," Alex said. She stared at the elevator floor. "But inside his head…What happened really hurt him."

"I don't know if it'll be any comfort to anyone…But I just got back from Copa's court appearance," Ross said.

"This early?" Logan asked.

"Part of the Department's attempt to keep this under the radar." Ross smiled bitterly. "The good news is Copa didn't get bail…The ADA showed the judge a photo of Goren's injuries and presented evidence that Copa and his buddies had been stalking Goren for some time. Copa's lawyer cried foul, but the judge decided he was a flight risk."

Alex was only slightly ashamed of the bubble of satisfaction that rose in her at Copa's plight.

"The Chief of D's," Ross continued. "Is backpedaling away from Copa…It's one of his more impressive performances."

The elevator door opened, and the trio walked towards Bobby's room.

"I hear there were a lot of cops here last night," Ross said.

"Yea," Logan snorted. "After word of what Copa did came out…Cops should know Goren was in the right…"

"They couldn't have known," Alex said. "Bobby was one of the people who didn't want the news of what he did to get out to keep his family from having to deal with it."

Ross sighed. "Yea…A lot of good that did. For all of his whining about his family, it turns out he and his wife have been on the outs for several months. And Copa's barely made any effort to see his kids in that time."

"Bobby would love that…Another lousy father," Alex muttered.

"I'm not fond of them myself," Ross said.

Alex roused from her dark mood as they neared Bobby's room. "Logan," she said. "Could you let people know…He's sorta ok? And that he needs to know people care about him?"

Logan appeared relieved to have something real to do. "You got it…I'll get started on that…You need anything…You let me know…"

Ross watched Logan walk down the hall. "Goren's in a bad state?"

"He won't talk to me…He'll barely look at me," Alex said.

"You know," Ross said after a moment. "I wouldn't blame Goren for feeling the Department betrayed him. Because some of it did."

"Including his partner," Alex said softly. Before Ross could respond, she knocked on Bobby door and entered his room.

He lay mutely in his bed. He turned away from the door and stared bleakly at the window. The bed was raised, and even with his head turned, the bruises and gashes were clearly visible on his face. Ross winced when he saw Bobby, but the captain's voice was calm when he spoke.

"Detective…How are you feeling?"

Bobby didn't respond for several moments. Alex saw his untouched breakfast on the table next to his bed.

"Ok, Captain," Bobby said. His voice was polite, almost formal, but Alex heard the strain and pain in it.

"The nurses said I might get out of here today," Bobby said.

"That's good news," Ross said. "We'll be glad to help you. But don't push it."

Bobby's head moved slightly in Ross' direction. Something about Bobby's posture told Alex he was surprised by the offer of help. "I…I'm fine," Bobby said softly. "I probably don't have to be here at all. I appreciate the offer…but I'll be fine…"

"You'll need some help when you get home, Bobby," Alex declared. "And you'll probably be on some heavy painkillers. And I've seen what's in your refrigerator."

Bobby continued to stare out the window.

"Eames," Ross said softly. "Do you know where I could find a cup of coffee…"

Alex saw the ruse for what it was, but she thought speaking to Ross might help Bobby.

"I'll go see if I can find a decent cup," Alex said. "You want something, Bobby…"

"No," Bobby said faintly. "You don't have to carry anything for me, Eames."

Alex flinched, and Ross studied them carefully.

"I'm just getting some for the Captain," Alex said after a moment. "It's not just you." As she passed by Ross on the way to the door Alex mouthed "Good luck."

Ross moved a chair closer to the bed and sat. A heavy weight settled on his chest as he realized he had no idea what to say to the battered man before him.

"Goren," Ross ventured. "Copa…He didn't make bail this morning…"

Bobby digested this information for several moments. "He's in protective custody?"

It was the last response Ross expected. "Uh…yes…The DA's office hopes to make a deal with him…"

"I don't care," Bobby said. "They can do whatever they want."

"Detective," Ross said carefully. "I'm sorry this happened to you…"

"Don't…It doesn't matter…"

"It matters," Ross said. "It matters a lot. The Department treated you terribly and…"

"No…Captain…Please…" A desperate edge came to Bobby's voice. "I've got the message. Took me long enough…"

"Detective…"

"I'm supposed to be such a bright guy," Bobby continued. "You'd think I'd get the message…No matter how hard I try…How hard I work…"

Ross had never seen Bobby so depressed. "Detective…"

Bobby suddenly remembered that he spoke to his Captain. "I…I'm sorry, Sir." He shook with the effort to control himself. "You…You don't have to worry…"

"Detective…Please…"

"My resignation will be on your desk as soon as I can type it up," Bobby said flatly. "I'm not wanted…I get it. I'm a danger to other cops…Especially Eames…"

"Bobby…For God's sake…Listen to me…"

Bobby's head shot up at Ross' use of his first name.

"You have every right to be angry. I'm angry about it. I'm ashamed for any part I had in it," Ross said.

"Why would you…You," Bobby stammered.

"I just fought to get you back," Ross said. "I'm not giving up on one of the best detectives I've ever seen without a fight."

Bobby stared at him.

"Last night there was a waiting room full of cops who were worried about you…Nearly all of Major Case…Cops who've worked with you in the past…Mike Logan stayed the entire night. I had calls last night and this morning from people who support you…"

A steady pain in his head had plagued Bobby since he woke up; now it began to throb mercilessly. His left hand began to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I…I don't understand…"

Ross smiled wanly. "You're right, Detective. For such a bright guy, you can be dense sometimes. Do you know what Alex did for you?"

"She…she does everything for me," Bobby said.

"This is more specific," Ross said. "Since you've returned from suspension…Have you noticed…More attention…"

"Of course," Bobby said wearily. "Everyone staring at the whack job…Waiting for me to screw up…"

"Watching out for you…Trying to protect you," Ross said.

Bobby looked at Ross with surprise.

"Alex organized a watch for you after that thing appeared in your desk."

"A…A watch?" The throbbing in his head grew worse.

"Yes, Goren…Eames organized a watch over you…And there were a lot of volunteers…"

Bobby struggled with Ross' words.

"Detective? Goren…Are you all right?"

Bobby fought through a fog. "I…I'm ok…"

"I don't think you are," Ross reached for the call button.

"Captain…All these people…Risked…They…" Bobby stared out the window.

"Yes…And I want you to know I was one of the first to sign up…Although the fact you're in here means we could've done a better job."

"I…I can't let…can't," Bobby mumbled.

"Can't what?" Ross asked.

"Sir…I can't let…I…I should leave…Resign…Not hurt…"

Before Ross could answer, a nurse, summoned by the call button, appeared. "Are you all right, Mr. Goren," she asked gently.

"No," Ross thought. "Mr. Goren is definitely not all right."

END CHAPTER FOUR


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize for the delay in updating this story.

CHAPTER FIVE

Ross leaned against the hospital wall. As the nurse left Bobby's room, the captain smiled wearily at her. "I don't suppose," he said. "You have some of the painkillers you've been "giving Detective Goren available for a headache?"

"Sorry," the nurse said. "Although we do have some horribly overpriced over the counter stuff."

"I have plenty of that," Ross said. He nodded towards Bobby's room. "How is he?"

"Considering what he's been through, physically he's good," the nurse replied. "But he's very quiet."

The nurse moved past Ross down the hall. She paused briefly to speak with Alex, who moved to her Captain and handed him a cup of coffee.

"You might want to just use that as a prop," she said. "It's not that good. The nurse…she's worried about Bobby."

Ross nodded. "He's very hurt…Inside and out…He's afraid he's hurting you and other cops…I told him about the watch. I though it might help him…Let him know that he has people in the department…That he has friends…But…"

"It had the opposite result," Alex said.

"I should know by now Goren isn't the usual cop," Ross said. "Or person."

"I feel like we let him down…Me especially," Alex said.

"You're a good partner, Alex," Ross said firmly. "This wasn't your fault any more than it was Goren's. Don't forget that. This was Patrick Copa's doing." Ross placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Good luck."

Alex slipped into Bobby's room. He looked terribly alone.

"Hey," she said. "The view from that window must be fascinating."

Bobby blinked, but didn't answer or turn to her.

"You've charmed all the nurses," Alex continued. "But they're talking about letting you out of here today."

"I…I hope so…" Bobby swallowed. He hadn't looked at Alex since she'd entered the room. "Ross…told me what you…what you did…That you…and others…You've been looking out for me…"

Alex wondered that Bobby couldn't hear the pounding of her heart. "Yes…We've been on patrol…Although we…I…apparently didn't do a very good job…"

"You shouldn't have had to do it at all…Too much trouble…danger…"

"People were happy to do it."

Bobby stared at his hands. "Why…Why would anyone…"

"Bobby…Bobby…Look at me…Look at me…"

"I don't understand…"

"Bobby." Alex stepped closer to his bed. If she dared, she could touch him. "There are good people in this department. And they recognize other good people. A lot of people know you…owe you…And even those who don't know or owe you know you're a good man and a good cop."

"How…how many?" Bobby asked.

"Most of Major Case to start with. All of the people who worked with you in Narcotics. All of my family," Alex said proudly.

Bobby began to wish the painkillers were stronger.

"'Course," Alex said sadly. "We let you down…Especially me…"

"No!" Bobby said sharply. "No one let me down! Especially you…" His eyes blazed as he looked at her, and then he fell back on the pillows. "Me…It was me…I…I put everyone in danger…"

"Bobby," Alex said just as sharply. "Don't you do it…Don't you get on the guilt express…You're the one lying in a hospital bed…"

He held his head in his left hand. "I…I'm so confused," Bobby muttered.

Alex sat carefully on the edge of the bed. Bobby didn't welcome her, but he didn't pull away from her.

"Talk to me," she said gently. "Let's work it out."

Bobby took a deep breath. "It…It seems like half of the department…wants to do what Copa did…"

Alex winced.

"And the other half…wants…wants to protect me…I…I don't understand…"

"Now that it knows what really happened…What Copa really is," Alex said. "I think you'll find that a lot more of the department will be on your side."

"But…but if cops won't back me up…"

"Enough cops will," Alex declared.

"But…If being with me puts you in danger…" Bobby stared at the sheets.

"We've talked about that," Alex said. "I don't want another partner." She studied Bobby's bruised and battered face. She took a deep breath and decided to play for the highest stakes.

"You're considering resigning, aren't you?" Alex was proud her voice didn't waver.

"It…It's crossed my mind," Bobby said after a moment.

Alex placed her cards on the table. "You should know," she said deliberately. "If you go, I go."

Bobby spun to face her so quickly that Alex saw him wince in pain. "No…You can't…"

"I don't want another partner…You're the best," Alex said calmly. "And if there's no place for a good and brilliant man like you in the department, then there's no place in it for me."

Bobby stared at her. "That's…that's emotional blackmail, Eames…"

"I see it as just telling you what the consequences of your actions will be," she replied.

There was a knock at the door, and a doctor, flanked by two nurses, entered. "Good morning, Mr. Goren," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"A…a little sore," Bobby confessed. "And confused…"

"Well, let's see if we can help you with both of those things," the doctor said. "And see if we can get you out of here. Is there someone who can help you if we release you?"

"Yes," Alex said quickly. "There are several someones."

He was quiet as they poked and prodded and prepared to release him. The staff made unhappy noises about Bobby's lack of appetite, but Alex's promises that she'd make sure he'd eat and rest convinced them to let him go home.

"I…I don't need this," Bobby feebly protested as he was wheeled to the front door.

"Oh, yes, you do," Alex said. "You're having trouble standing, let along walking."

They reached the lobby, where a small delegation led by Captain Ross and Mike Logan waited for them. Two other Major Case detectives were with them.

"Good," one of them said. "Goren's up and moving. No life of leisure for him."

"Yea," the other said. "He stays out too long, the rest of us will have to do some real work."

"I…I'm grateful," Bobby said. "But…but you…all of you…don't have to do this…"

"If we don't," Logan said. "It'll take you twice as long to get better and give us twice as much work."

One of the detectives provided his large van for Bobby's trip home. Seeing that his injured detective was in good hands, Ross opted to return to Major Case, but promised Alex he'd call later. Throughout the trip, Logan and the two other detectives ran a commentary about the girls they saw, what was wrong with New York City politics, and the woes of the Yankees and the Mets. Bobby was terribly quiet through the drive. He appeared to try to follow the conversation and managed a quick smile when Logan, not so quietly suffering in the van's back seat, griped about New York's underperforming baseball teams. But Bobby's attention slipped, and he spent much of the ride staring out the window.

"Wow," one of the other Major Case detectives said as they helped Bobby into his apartment. "With all these books, you actually need to go to the library?"

"He says these are the essentials," Alex smiled.

"So," the other detective said. "These are the benefits of the single life." He admired the rows of CDs lining several shelves. "Is there any kind of music you don't like, Goren?"

"I don't see any of that country stuff you listen to," Logan commented.

"What does your partner listen to, Logan?" Alex asked. "Disney?"

"I'll have you know," Logan said gravely. "That Wheeler has a head banging past."

Alex turned to Bobby. He'd done a good job of hiding his pain and exhaustion through the lobby, the elevator ride, and the short walk to his apartment. He shook off Logan's arm as he sat in his favorite chair, but Bobby's face was pale and his eyes glazed.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Uh…yea…I…I'm sorry guys. I'm afraid I don't have much in the place." Bobby tried to play the host's role. "I wasn't expecting anyone."

The other detectives didn't know Bobby as well as Alex did, but they were members of Major Case and could sense the exhaustion behind Bobby's bravado.

"Some of us have to work for a living," Logan said. "We need to get back."

"Yea, but we'll take a raincheck for when you get back," another said.

"Right," Bobby said, not quite able to hide his relief.

"You need anything, Alex," Logan whispered as he moved to the door. "You call…ok?"

Alex nodded.

She shut the door behind the three men and turned back to examine Bobby. His head leaned back against the chair and his eyes were closed. The late afternoon light from the window highlighted the bruises on his face, and a wave of guilt swept over Alex.

"I let this happen to him," she thought. "No…No guilt trips for you either. It's going to be hard enough to deal with him."

"Hey," she said gently. "You ok? You need your pain pills…Something to eat?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her as if he was surprised that she hadn't left with the other cops. "Uh…You don't have to…I'm ok…"

"Bobby, the only reason they let you out of the hospital was because I promised to stay with you. And I'm not going to break that promise."

"Ok," he said after a moment.

Surprised by his retreat, Alex sat on the couch. She was prepared for anger and resistance, but not for this quiet acceptance.

"I…I don't have anything in the place," Bobby said after a few moments. "I'm sorry…You're probably hungry…"

"A little," Alex admitted. In truth, she was ravenous. "What about you?"

"My stomach doesn't feel up to anything…Must be the pills…"

Silence descended between them again. "C'mon," Alex thought. "Think of something to say…"

"Those guys," Bobby said, and Alex started at the sound of his voice. "I know Logan was…but the other two…were they part of the watch…"

"Yes," Alex said. "They were two of the first to sign up…Right after Logan and Wheeler and Ross…"

Bobby rubbed the back of his neck. "I…I think I need to get some rest." He rose unsteadily from the chair, and Alex stood and reached for him.

"I'm ok," he said sharply. "I'm sorry," he said after he saw the hurt on Alex's face. "I…I'm a little off balance…"

"You have a good excuse," she said.

"I…I think I can get to the bed." He walked slowly towards his sleeping area. He stopped and turned at its entrance. "Thank you, Alex…Thank you for taking care of me…"

She stood uncertainly in the middle of the living room. This wasn't what she expected from Bobby, and she didn't know how to deal with it.

END CHAPTER FIVE


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

After several minutes, Alex walked to check on Bobby. He'd managed to get his shoes and socks off, but seemed to have collapsed after that. He lay curled up on his relatively unscathed left side and was deeply asleep. His graying curls fell over his forehead, and he looked less like a weary police detective than a troubled boy. For a moment, Alex didn't know if she would laugh or cry. She took a deep breath and unfolded a blanket over Bobby. He stirred slightly, and she gently brushed her hand over his curls. He slept for several hours. Convinced that he wouldn't wake up, Alex left briefly to pick up supplies at the corner bodega. She was relieved to discover Bobby was still asleep when she got back. She appeased her rumbling stomach with a sandwich and a cup of tea. She'd just finished the snack when she received a call from Ross.

"How is he?" the captain asked.

"Asleep…Poor guy was exhausted." Alex felt fairly exhausted herself.

"Inside his head?" Ross asked cautiously.

"Hard to tell…He hasn't talked about resigning, at least…But he's confused about the cops who've supported him. I'm afraid Bobby isn't used to getting a lot of support."

"Well, he didn't get what he deserved from the department," Ross said. "You should warn him…The DA's office is apparently working on a plea with Copa, but they want Bobby to sign off on it."

"He'll probably agree to whatever they want," Alex said.

"Yea…The first thing he asked me this morning was if Copa was in protective custody."

"Yea," Alex said wearily. "That's Bobby."

After promising Ross she would call me if she needed anything and that she would get some sleep, Alex ended the call and checked on Bobby. He was still deeply asleep, and she returned to the couch. She flipped through the many magazines resting on the table next to it, and settled on a recent copy of SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, but Alex had had little sleep in the last twenty four hours. Her eyes closed, and the magazine slipped from her fingers.

Something woke her and she saw that the room was dim in the growing twilight. She stared around her and she realized the something that woke her was a choked sound coming from Bobby's bedroom. She rose from the couch and stumbled in the sound's direction.

He was still curled up on his left side, but he shivered. "No," he cried softly. "No…Please stop…Please…"

Alex stepped closer to him. "Bobby…"

"No…Don't hurt her…Please…"

Alex tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. He calmed almost immediately.

"Bobby," she said again. "It's all right…You're ok…It's ok…"

He stirred, blinked, and looked up at her. He rolled on to his back, and involuntarily cried out in pain.

"Bobby…Are you all right?"

"Uh…I…I've been better," he admitted through clenched teeth. He sat up slowly. "I…I need to go to…"

"Let me help you," Alex said gently. To her surprise, he didn't fight her, but allowed her to help him out of the bed and to walk the few steps to the bathroom.

"I…I think I can take it from here," he smiled weakly. "I'm going to take a shower…I'll be careful…Any trouble, and I'll call you."

Puzzled, Alex watched him disappear into the bathroom. He was remarkably calm. "He's decided," she thought. "And we're so out of sync that I can't tell what he's decided." She walked to the balcony that made up one wall in Bobby's apartment and stared out. "I meant it," she thought. "I meant it when I said I'd resign if he did. For all of his problems…for all that he did…He's the best detective I've ever seen…One of the best men I've ever known…And I don't want to be part of a department that doesn't have room for a man like him." She shook her head. "Do something useful, Eames. Fix some food."

Bobby, dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, emerged from the back of the apartment and sniffed the air. "Soup…tomato…grilled cheese…" he commented.

"I see your detective skills are still sharp," Alex said as she placed two bowls on the coffee table in front of the couch. "The shower help?"

"A little…I'm still stiff and sore…The meds help," he admitted. "But I feel better…a lot better…than when I got home." He moved slowly to the couch. "You need any help?"

"I'm good…I just need to bring in the sandwiches."

"Good…truth is, I made the offer but hoped you wouldn't take me up on it."

"You're in a good mood," Alex said as she sat the sandwiches on the table.

"Must be the drugs," he said lightly. "I took some before the shower."

"No wonder…Bobby…You're not supposed to take those on an empty stomach," Alex said. "And your stomach was really empty."

"Won't be empty long," he said and bit into a sandwich.

Alex watched him closely as they ate. He ate, and ate well, which reassured her, but he was giddy, and giddy wasn't an emotion she associated with Bobby.

"You were hungry," Alex commented as she picked up the plates and silverware.

"Yea…" He gave her a goofy grin made lopsided by the bruises on his face. "It must be the drugs. A guy who just got beat up shouldn't feel this good."

Alex winced, and Bobby's face fell.

"Oh…Eames…I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking…Or at least I'm not thinking well…You're right…I shouldn't have taken those on an empty stomach. Here, let me help you…" He started to stand, but fell heavily back on the couch.

"Bobby," Alex asked anxiously. "Are you ok?"

"Just a little dizzy…and a reminder from my body."

"Should I call the hospital? Maybe you're having a reaction…"

"No…I'm just trying to do too much" He gave her another lopsided grin. "I'm sorry, Eames…I think I need to get back to bed."

Alex was grateful for the appearance of this cheerful, malleable Bobby, but puzzled by it as well. "Do you need any help?"

"I don't think so…If I'm careful…"

She hovered near him as he stood.

"I'll be all right," he told her as he walked to his bed. "You…You really don't have to stay…"

"Yea, I do," she answered firmly.

He shrugged. "I should know better. I'm sorry my couch isn't more comfortable and that I don't have the energy to fight you about the sleeping arrangements." He turned and started to move past the shelf that separated the sleeping area from the rest of the apartment. He turned his head to her. "Thank you…Alex…Thank you." He stepped behind the shelf.

Stunned, Alex stood silently for several minutes. "Those drugs," she thought. "Must be really powerful."

She busied herself through the rest of the evening. She cleaned the dishes, used Bobby's computer to check her email, and responded to requests for information on his condition. She took calls from Ross and Logan and promised to call them if she needed help. She checked on Bobby frequently, each time finding him sleeping the sleep of the exhausted and medicated. Her own body's call for sleep finally became too strong, and she moved as quietly as she could into the bathroom.

Over the years of their partnership a few of Alex and Bobby's personal items drifted into the other's home, and, in spite of their recent problems, remained there. Alex was strangely touched and comforted to find her extra toothbrush still rested in a cup on the bathroom sink and that her older brother's ratty football jersey she'd stolen for a nightshirt still hung from a hook on the back of the bathroom door. She brushed her teeth, slipped on the jersey, and checked on Bobby. In spite of the bruises on his face—which finally appeared to have stopped getting worse—he looked calm and comfortable.

"Oh, God," Alex thought and she clutched the shelf for support. "He's decided…And if he has, so have I."

With so many thoughts racing through her head and trying to sleep on Bobby's slightly lumpy couch, Alex didn't expect to get more than a few minutes of sleep. But soon after her head hit the pillow she was lost to the world.

The strong, warm scent of coffee and sunlight streaming in the balcony window woke her. She blinked, stretched, and carefully stood. She followed the coffee scent into the kitchen, where she discovered Bobby pouring himself a cup of the life giving beverage.

"Hey," he said. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't." Alex ran a hand through her hair. Bobby thought she was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. "The coffee and the sun did."

Bobby smiled. Bruises and cuts still covered his face, but he looked better than he did the night before.

"You're doing pretty good with one hand," Alex said

"I can manage…thank goodness my left is ok," he said. He took a long drink of coffee. "Eames…" he said carefully. "I think you can leave me alone."

She studied him.

"I appreciate your being here…Really…And what you're doing for me…More than you could ever know…But you have a life of your own…You may need to go to work…At the very least…you need to get a change of clothes…"

"But you…"

"I'll be ok…Look, it's been over twelve hours since I got home…Nothing's happened to me…I know not to take the pain pills on an empty stomach…" He smiled. "I swear that if I need anything…Anything…I'll call you…"

Alex considered his words. Bobby's reasoning was sound. She did need to go home, to go to the office. He did seem fine.

"You…you promise that you'll call me if you feel funny or need anything?"

"I promise," he said solemnly. "I'd cross my heart if I could move my right hand better."

She reluctantly left, but only after making sure his pills were ready and again extracting promises and pledges he would call if he had any trouble. She called him once from the cab and again when she arrived at her home.

"I'm fine," Bobby told her with a smile in his voice during the second call. "I'm just as fine as I was a half an hour ago."

After she called Bobby, Alex contacted Ross. She gave the Captain an update on Bobby and asked if she could come in the office.

"I can use the help, Eames," Ross said. "Things are more chaotic than usual around here. I have to warn you that you'll probably be doing paperwork."

"Noted," Alex said. "But I'll go crazy at home and Major Case is closer Bobby's place."

"Has he mentioned anything more about his future with the department?" Ross asked tentatively.

"He hasn't said anything about work," Alex replied. "He's just…calm…really calm. I think he's made up his mind…But he hasn't said anything to me."

"I hope he's decided to stay," Ross said. "He's a great detective…And I want him to prove the Chief wrong…"

Alex arrived at Major Case a little before noon. Logan briefly gave her a hard time about living a life of luxury, but also asked about Bobby's condition, as did the other squad members. As she plowed through paperwork, she stopped twice to call Bobby. He quickly answered both calls, although his voice was thick when he answered the second time.

"I'm just getting that rest everyone's insisting on," Bobby responded to Alex's concern.

"I'm sorry I woke you…"

"It's ok…I need to take my antibiotics," Bobby said. "The pain hasn't been too bad today."

"A lot of people have been asking how you're doing," Alex said.

"Really," Bobby said after a pause. "Probably worried about who's getting the extra work."

"No, Bobby," Alex said gently. "They care about you."

There was another pause. "Uh…Eames…You…You don't have to come by tonight…I'm good."

"Bobby…"

"Really…You have a life…Things to take care of…"

"Bobby…You're a big part of that life."

Another pause followed. "I…I'm sorry…You shouldn't have to…"

"Bobby…I don't mind…I…I like having you in my life…I like being in your life…and I hope you like having me in yours."

"You're the best thing in my life, Eames," Bobby said softly. "But…but you need to get some rest. I…I can't tell you what you're doing for me means. But you need to take care of yourself."

"All…all right…but I'll call you…And you call me if you need anything…"

"Deal," Bobby declares.

Alex stumbled through the rest of the day. She was weary and realized she missed her own bed. She snuck out early, but Ross only nodded in sympathy when he caught her headed towards the elevator. She reached home, poured a glass of wine, and settled in for a long, hot bath. She wasn't aware of falling asleep, but the ringing of a phone jolted her awake. She shivered as she stepped out of the now lukewarm water, wrapped a towel around her, and lurched to the phone.

"Hello," she gasped when she reached the phone.

"Eames…Are you ok?" Bobby asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," she answered. "I was in the tub."

An image of Alex standing glistening and naked invaded Bobby's mind.

"Bobby…You ok?"

"Uh…Sorry…I was…uh…just getting ready to go to bed…And…I didn't want you to worry or call me…or have to call me…I mean…I'm sorry…Eames…"

"Hey," Alex laughed. "Did you just take some of your meds? You're not making much sense."

Bobby seized on this explanation. "Uh…yea…anyway, I'm sorry I yanked you out of the tub."

"It's ok. I was about to turn into a prune…Seriously, are you ok?"

"Yea…I managed to fix myself some food today…took a long bath myself…got a lot of rest…I feel almost human…I…I did get a call from the DA's office…They're trying to arrange a deal with Copa…They want to talk to me about it…"

"They aren't wasting any time," Alex said.

"I want to get it over with."

"Don't let Copa get away with anything," Alex said.

"I won't…Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?" Bobby clearly wished to change the subject.

"Yea," Alex said. "Maybe I can come by and take you out to lunch."

"Maybe I'll take you," Bobby said cheerfully. "Good night, Eames…and…thank you."

Alex slept well, so well that she was reluctant to leave her bed in the morning. She arrived at Major Case to find the office buzzing. As she strode to her desk, she was stunned to find Bobby at his desk. He had shaved, his hair was neatly combed, and he wore a suit, but no tie. The bruises still were visible on his face and his lip slightly swollen, but he could see through his black eye, and he looked much better than the previous day.

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked in astonishment.

"I have an appointment this morning with an ADA," Bobby answered calmly. "And I thought I should at least visit the office…And I wanted to talk with the Captain."

His last words sent a shiver up Alex's spine.

"And I brought you some coffee." Bobby waved a hand towards a large cup on Alex's desk. "Very strong, very sweet. There's Ross…I want to talk to him before he gets caught up in something." Bobby stood carefully and walked towards the Captain. Ross shot Alex a surprised look as the two men entered the Captain's office.

For the next few minutes Alex struggled to concentrate on her work and not to look at the Captain's office. "This is it," she thought. "He's telling Ross his decision." She took a long drink of her coffee, and felt a terrible pang at the thought it might be the last coffee Bobby brought her. As she stared at her computer screen the words blurred.

"Coffee good?" Bobby dropped into his chair, and Alex started. For such a large man, Bobby could, when he wanted to, move with the stealth of a cat.

"Uh…perfect…Thank you…"

"You deserve a lot more…Thank you…"

Alex glanced at Ross' office. He looked happy, as happy as she could remember seeing him in recent days. A spark of hope rose in her.

"Bobby…"

"H-m-m?" He was absorbed by a file, or at least he appeared to be.

"Uh…I am your partner…I have the right to know…"

"Yes, you are my partner," he said lightly. "But you don't have the right to know everything…"

He was teasing her. He wouldn't tease her if he was leaving. The spark grew into a flame.

"This I have the right to know," she said. "You're staying…"

"For a while at least…I'm not going to push myself too much…" He struggled not to smile, but Alex saw the corners of his mouth twitch.

"Not just for today, you big lug…You're not resigning…"

"Why," he said softly. "Would I resign when most of the NYPD wants me to stay? Or, at least, that's what I hear from the cops I trust…Especially one cop."

Alex grinned. She didn't care if anyone saw. She wanted to hug Bobby, but guessed there would be plenty of opportunity for that later.

"Good," she said. "Good. It's hard to break in new partners…especially when your old one is the best. And I really don't want to resign."

"You know," Bobby said deliberately. "I may still attract vermin…maybe dangerous vermin…"

"We'll be on patrol," Alex declared. "Especially me."

"Thank you, Alex."

"You're welcome…Now, where are you taking me for lunch?"

END

I'm sorry about this one. It didn't so much end as it peetered out.

Patcat


End file.
